URSULA, BILL, THOMAS, AND FRASER (2002)

I'd like to tell you about Fraser. Fraser is my youngest son who was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder in September 2001 when he was 3 years old.

Where to start...well I guess basically my life was hell with Fraser. I also had post natal depression which didn't help.

That sounds like a terrible thing to say about my baby boy, especially when he is so young and innocent but that's the truth of it.

Don't get me wrong, this story has a happy ending, but not before we all went through a lot.

If you have an autistic child or a child that has been diagnosed as autistic then I am quite sure you at least know something of what I mean.

It didn't start out bad with Fraser when he was first born, but by the time he was almost two years old I knew something was wrong.

Fraser wasn't talking by then and I knew Thomas my older son was talking and saying words by nine months, so Fraser's development worried me.

But our day to day life was a living nightmare as well.

It seemed like he was always crying. Every night was a hell of a night and I would have anxiety attacks every morning just waiting for him to wake up.

I would be so anxious because I knew we would start the day with a tantrum. The tantrums would continue all day as well and it was just relentless.

I would dread doing the normal things like just going to the supermarket.

I knew he'd put on a show and we'd have a tantrum over something. He'd start throwing stuff or wrecking stuff and away we'd go. I'd try and stop him and before I knew it we'd have another full on tantrum on our hands.

It got so we just didn't bother going out anywhere, I mean why would you bother putting up with the drama and the embarrassment. That's apart from the risk of violence towards other children as well.

As well as all that there was no respite for Bill, my husband and I.

We never had a night to ourselves with Fraser like this so the marriage was under pressure as I'm sure you can imagine.

No wonder I was on antidepressants.

It must have been so hard on poor Fraser too, he was crying all the time, he wouldn't let me hug him. He just didn't seem loving.

Bill seemed to get on better with Fraser than me. Not sure why, perhaps it was because he was away at work most of the time and only came home at night.

It got so bad, day after day with the same problems, I was going to run away with Thomas my older boy and leave Bill and Fraser together. I mean they had a better relationship
anyway, perhaps they would both be better off without me.

Any way, I didn't do that and I'm glad.

The fact that Fraser wasn't talking by two years worried me and I asked the clinic sister about it.

She put me onto a speech therapist. After about 6 weeks of speech therapy I was referred to an occupationaltherapist(O.T.).

The O.T. thought that Fraser was autistic and sent us to the State Child Development Centre where they diagnosed him as having Autism Spectrum Disorder.

I'll never forget that day. There was a Speech Therapist, O.T., Psychologist and a Social Worker there on the panel.

I cried my eyes out when they told me.

I could barely fill in forms for Social Security that they gave me. These forms identified my child at the age of three as having a disability for the rest of his life.

It seemed so unfair to label him like that and it felt like there was no hope.

We then had to put Fraser into the ABA program through Mildred Creek.

We didn't get very much support from there and found ithard to find anyone with anything positive to say about Fraser's future.

It seemed like I was never going to get off antidepressants.

Not long after this, about December, 2001, Bill got Jenny Roberts' business card from our local GP, which should have been great news right?

But guess what, we didn't do anything about it.

We never called her at all as a result of Bill getting her card.

I guess it just wasn't meant to be at that stage. But fate wasn't finished with us yet.

I'm not sure why we never called Jenny when Bill first got her business card!

I mean, god I was desperate enough to try anything, so I should have grabbed at the chance to try something new in hindsight.

I guess I just felt trapped and all I wanted to do was get through each day.

I had to hear of Jenny Roberts at least twice more before I finally made contact with her.

It's amazing really.

Jenny has helped so many people from so far away from here in Busselton and yet here was I, living virtually down the road from her.

I mean most of the time I was struggling at home with Fraser and I didn't even know about her.

Even when Bill was given her business card it took me 4 months to get to call her.

To cut a long story short, I finally got to arrange for Jenny to come and see us in April 2002.

The first thing I remember about Jenny coming was she said "Trust me."

And I did.

There was something about her, a calmness that seemed tosurround her. She wasn't, or isn't like any other person I've met, let alone like any of the doctors or therapists I had to put up with. All they do is prescribe drugs and more and more therapy.

Jenny took away the stress and it just became so calm so quickly, it was amazing really.

And another thing that made Jenny different was she said I could call her 24 hours a day if I needed to while I was getting used to the changes I needed to make.

Now that was something I wasn't used to you can be sure of that.

Now don't get me wrong, it wasn't like waving a magic wand or anything, there was stuff I had to do, or rather not do.

It was really different, nothing like I was expecting.

Especially the first 3 or 4 days.

No one was yelling or screaming, it was very calm.

Even though I had been craving peace and quiet, it took some getting used to.

I learnt that I actually didn't like my son Fraser at that stage, now I love him of course, but by that stage when I first met Jenny, I had begun to not like the person he had grown into.

That makes me sad, but now it feels good to love him.

Now every single thing I try and do with Fraser isn't a fight like it used to be.

Bill and I even get nights to ourselves without Fraser coming in and disturbing us.

We both enjoy that as you can imagine.

It's like my life is divided into two parts: before Jenny and after Jenny.

I prefer the after Jenny part by a long way of course.

When I was asked to describe how it's made me feel, it's quite hard to describe how much I want to thank Jenny.

Like I said before, I wanted to run away with Thomas and leave poor Fraser with Bill.

Well now nothing could be further from my mind.

Fraser's behaviour dramatically changed after that first 3 or 4 days.

I didn't have to bribe him with the usual sugar treats just to get him to do normal things.

His violence stopped to a very large degree.

He has passed his first lot of swimming lessons, he has done preprimary school and instead of having behaviour problems he got a merit certificate.

Now that was a big change, I was dreading preprimary and school.

This is the same Fraser that I couldn't even take shopping to get some food without having a major tantrum.

When I tell him no now, he understands that means exactly that, no!

So I don't have to bribe him to keep the peace.

There's still stuff I'm working on, we aren't completely out of the woods yet.

It's like, no matter what challenge I face now, I know we can overcome it and even if we have trouble with it, Jenny will always be there for us.

I know that.

If you are reading this, and your life is anything like mine was, please don't wait around for it to get worse.

Claim your life back, do something different, do whatever you can to get Jenny into your home.

And just do what she says, just do it.

I don't believe you'll regret it at all.

Whatever you decide, if you have an autistic child, my thoughts are with you.

Ursula

ANDREA AND HER SON THOMAS (2004)

Hi, my name is Andrea. I hope in sharing my story with you, it may help you in some way deal with the frustration of having an autistic child.

Some of you may feel trapped by autism given the limited options many of us feel that are available through conventional sources.

I hope my story will help you gain sufficient inspiration and insight to free you from the boundaries that can sometimes limit us in our search for answers.

My son Thomas was born in January 2000. He is now 5 years old. When Thomas was 6 months old we moved to Tokyo.

By age two, we became seriously concerned with his lack of speech and delayed development. Despite living in Japan, Thomas had always been in an English speaking environment and had attended international playgroups and Pre-schools.

From this point on we started to notice his delayed development in other areas. As you can imagine, a lack of speech can lead to many frustrations on both sides.

Even though we were living in Tokyo, we flew to Melbourne Australia to have Thomas' condition investigated. Both a paediatrician and speech pathologist agreed that it was too
early to detect any abnormality and diagnosed him as a late developer.

Thomas' hearing was also found to be within normal range. Despite this diagnosis we had begun speech therapy when he turned 3.

In November 2003, Thomas was diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum Disorder. He was 3 years and 10 months old.

We were told that is was a life long incurable neurological malfunction.

To hear this official diagnosis, using the international CARS scale among other scales and probes, we felt lost and confused as to how to handle this baffling condition.

We first heard of Jenny by pure chance.

My mother who saw the Current Affair programme on her work with difficult children. We made first contact with her whilst in Japan as we did with all forms of help we could access. Japan was the wrong place to have an Autistic western child - we couldn't use what was available to the Japanese due to the language barrier and the expat community didn't have any real knowledge of how to deal with this condition. So we were lost. Waiting for change,
waiting for answers that didn't come.

My husband's career offered us an opportunity to leave Tokyo and move to Perth. Western Australia was the centre of knowledge and support in the world of therapy for Autism, so we were told, oh and this Jenny Roberts person lived there also (although we were aware that she worked everywhere). The world of experts told us that early intervention was crucial - intensive ABA therapy, Autism associations, speech therapy. It all had to be called upon to give us any chance of managing what we were told was a lifelong incurable neurological malfunction. We prepared ourselves for the expected commitment - financially, in time and effort, and emotionally.

The diagnostic process was undertaken and Thomas came out with his Autism label as I explained above. But meanwhile my follow up with Jenny continued. We had arrived in Perth, no family, no close friends, my husband away on business from the word go, two young children, one autistic the other fast becoming neurotic and myself going from one
"Autism" appointment to the next. That's when I called Jenny - when I was a wreck and everything in life, including my relationship with my husband was in turmoil.

Jenny, right from that first meeting, showed me what was happening. That we, (especially me), were wobbling and Thomas was falling. But she made us aware in the simple and
commonsensical way she talked that it didn't have to be this way and that we had choices as to how our life could be. It didn't have to be full of effort and concern and it didn't have to be so busy. It's like she gave us permission to let it all go, to stop trying, to relax and to, for the first time, become truly aware.

I called a client of hers, as much to hear another story of my own as anything else. And as this lady talked to me about her son, he calmly interrupted her and asked her if he could go swimming. Her son had once been diagnosed as well. That was it. I was in. Instead of being pushed into therapy that we didn't really believe in, we couldn't wait!

We did Jenny's program and we changed our lives. And our son started doing things - more normal things like asking for things and playing with his sister, and sleeping and toileting better and being less afraid and etc. It was only the beginning and it still is.

There are hiccups along the way. But that is where Jenny supports you - through the process of change. And when you wobble, or somebody in the family wobbles, as what happens in life, she takes you on through the journey and you go a little bit further.

Thomas now goes to pre-primary/pre-school. He has an aid because he still wobbles at times but he's doing everything the other kids are doing and loving it.

On reflection, I guess it can take courage to go against what society delivers us on a plate in terms of help for autistic children.

If what you're trying is working, great!

But if it's not, or you think there is more out there then I hope you are open and free enough to consider alternatives such as Jenny Roberts. I'm glad I was.

Andrea

Perth, Western Australia

SUE MOTHER OF TWO (2003)

I have two children, Natalie 5 years and Aaron 3 years.

Aaron is autistic, although I haven't received a diagnosis. There has been some confusion amongst the doctors but at the end of the day I have to deal with Aaron and make life bearable for us all.

More about that later.

What made me worry about Aaron was the fact that at just over 12 months old, Aaron still wouldn't look at any of us. Even with me, as his mother, he never looked me in the eye. He
would always look around me.

Also he's speech was simply not there.

It wasn't just his speech, he didn't make any gestures, he never pointed anywhere, I knew something was wrong.

When he was 18 months old, I saw a speech therapist about him, that didn't seem to help much, although I did get a few tips to go on with.

Around the home, it was like he was automatic pilot every time he went out the back. he had this ritual, he always did the same thing.

By that I mean he would always touch the same rocks, plants, my husband's bike, cubby house...it never changed.

I remember one day, it really hit me.

He was playing with one of Natalie's friends, she was seven years old, and this young girl just came straight out and said Aaron was autistic.

It stunned me.

I got straight onto the internet and read up on autism.

A lot of what I read rang true for me.

Aaron had been seeing a paediatrician for his eczema and peanut allergy and I asked this doctor what he thought.

Aaron was about 20 to 24 months at this stage.

The doctor had a check list from Monash University in Melbourne. He said he thought Aaron had Aspergers disease.

I was confused. This doctor suggested we get Aaron a hearing test and a vision test.

He had normal hearing at that time but later developed glue ear and had to have grommets.

From that point on, in 2002, it was horrible. I knew something was wrong but no one agreed with me.

By then Aaron's behaviour had deteriorated. Everyday was a nightmare.

Even simple things like going to the shops was extremely difficult. All Aaron wanted to do was go back home, he hated being taken from his home environment.

It seemed like every door was slammed shut on me, no one wanted to help my son.

I felt like I was being treated like a number all the time.

My husband didn't want to know about any of this, he just kept saying nothing was wrong. But I knew deep down there was something seriously wrong.

For example, in playgroup and with other children you could really tell the difference with Aaron. I mean there was no social interaction with the other children, he never acknowledged anyone.

He was always in a world of his own and would often just sit and stare out the window.

While Aaron wasn't that violent he did go through a hair pulling and biting stage.

He also never had really bad tantrums, he had them alright but they didn't seem as bad as what I've heard from other parents of autistic children.

Now while this was a relief, it actually hindered me I believe in getting the help I needed. That added to my building frustration.

I felt really alone.

By pure luck I saw Jenny on "A Current Affair."

The thing that drew me in was that Jenny spoke not just of ADD, autism and aspergers but of children with just behaviour problems in general.

Also I was impressed because Jenny offered something to help that involved:

1. No Drugs
2. No special diet
3. Jenny coming to us

The last thing about Jenny coming to us was most important to me as it meant Aaron didn't have to leave his environment.

That impressed me because, I mean, how can someone accurately assess Aaron in an environment that he doesn't feel comfortable in.

I emailed Jenny with our story even though I had a lot of resistance from my husband. This resistance never stopped by the way and it has made things extremely difficult.

To cut a long story short, we got Jenny to come to us. I never even asked about the cost at the time I was so happy just to have her come, cost wasn't important to me.

Jenny came in May 2003. I picked her up from the airport and felt immediately comfortable with her.

We had a chat and a cup of tea while she watched Aaron for a while. I felt an instant rapport with her

What Jenny explained to me seemed logical and I was very willing to try what she suggested.

Now the first 3 days were very different. There was significant change in what we had to do. But I felt very confident in Jenny, it just felt right to me, and she listened to me and seemed to understand like no one else had.

Now as hard as those changes were, my house did become very peaceful...instantly. It was amazing. Our world was suddenly different.

And something else wonderful happened.

After the third day, Aaron looked at me!!!

He looked me right in the eye for the first time. It was a like a dream come true and he has never stopped looking at me since, it is truly wonderful, I can't describe the joy that brings me.

Not long after that, more great changes occurred.

Aaron stopped walking on his toes as he always had, he stopped slapping his wrists together in excitement, his garden ritual became a thing of the past and he started taking notice of everything around him and becoming involved in what was going on.

He is affectionate towards me, he shows emotion when he hugs and kisses me, I now feel I have the boy I always thought I should have had.

Jenny stayed several hours that first day and I was in regular contact by phone. She then came back and stayed again a few months later to help us progress and build on the gains we had already made.

I know she is always there for me. I can call her whenever I want or email her and she will help me over the phone or even come here if I need her.

I hope this helps in some way.

Sue Mother of two

From Sydney, New South Wales, Australia

RENNAE AND JOHN (2003)

John and I have two children, Zachery who is 4 and Grace who is 18 months.

It was John I think who first noticed something was up with Zachery.

He noticed other children were more advanced in their talking. Zach wasn't talking at all. He would always just cover his ears whenever someone tried to talk to him.

By the time he was three, life with Zach was very much a nightmare. What do I mean by that?

Well as just a sample, Zach screamed all the time. Everyday he would start screaming pretty much as soon as he woke up.

The only time he wasn't screaming was when the television was on so, guess what, we got the TV on as soon as we possibly could in the morning.

Sounds terrible I know but it was our only source of peace to any degree.

Other problems around that time simply made life hell. It was like he was a new born baby only worse.

I feel awkward talking about my baby boy like this but it's the truth and I want people to know the truth about what our life was like before we got the help we needed.

Zach had bad toileting habits, he would often smear excrement all over the walls.

He wasn't sleeping and he had to be literally force fed as he wouldn't eat anything. He would start crying even if you just looked at him. That alone can be heart breaking for a
mother.

It's hard to put into words how angry I got, how frustrated I was and stressed out literally all the time.

As you might well imagine, our friends simply shut us out because of Zach's behaviour, which hurt a lot, not that I blame them though.

In June 2003, Zach was diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum. I was told his autism was so bad, that I should go to the mentally disabled people to get help.

My heart was absolutely shattered, John and I were devastated.

At first we felt helpless, but around that time John saw Jenny Roberts on A Current Affair.

He wrote her a letter and luckily she answered it.

On talking with and meeting Jenny, I found this immediate rapport, I trusted her completely.

I mean it was such a change, the public system don't want to know you, they just shut you out, put you into a box with a neat label on it and say go and get help from the mentally disabled. No thanks! I'm so pleased I never listened to them.

I mean, Jenny had Zach speaking within 3 hours!!! 3 hours, if I hadn't heard it myself I wouldn't have believed it. I was absolutely 'gob smacked'!

Then Jenny explained what we had to do for the first three days, I thought I can't do this!

But after the first day I realised I had been doing this all too hard, there is an easier way, life doesn't have to be a struggle with no choice. It was so much easier than I thought. I just had to let go of a few things, well maybe a lot of things.

It was like Zachery knew everything already, he just didn't have the chance to let it out. His speech, behaviour, everything just seemed to fall into place.

I had wanted to protect him and I had over protected him, it was all me, I was doing it to him.

But I have to tell you, it took courage for us to go through all this, it was very much against the grain.

Our life is absolutely beautiful now, it's like a dream come true.

I mean we still have our moments, but that's all they are, but before I felt like we were really dysfunctional.

I always know that Jenny is there for us, I mean we are talking to you from Jenny's place right now, she is such a help to us.

My expectations of Zach for his life are now much higher, there is nothing wrong with him. He is simply not autistic.

He dresses himself, he is eating properly and his toileting is better.

It's hard to describe the difference in our lives. It's just plain wonderful.

P.S. John here, just something I'd like to add to what Renee has told you, I had the thought one day after watching Zach and feeling so grateful for the difference Jenny has made to our lives, that some people in life win lotto, but we won Jenny.

Rennae from Adelaide, South Australia

ANNE, DAVID AND THEIR TWO CHILDREN BRIANNA AND JOHN (2003)

(Note from Jenny: At their request I have not used the famliy's real names out of respect for their privacy. )

I first saw Jenny Roberts on a current affair in May 2003.

When I saw what she did with the child on that program, it offered me hope for the first time.

It took ages to get in touch with Jenny. I had to send many emails before I heard back.

I found out later it was because Jenny had such a big response from the program that she was inundated with emails.

Once we established contact, Jenny wanted to know our background so i sent her a large email telling her what had happened up to that point.

Eventually we worked out that the best thing was for Jenny to come and stay with us.

I saw Jenny for the first time in June 2003 by which stage there had been very little intervention for Brianna and her diagnosed autism.

As soon as Jenny walked in to my home, she said that she could see about 25 things she could help us change that would improve our life.

As she started to explain what her program was it gave David and I help.

During this conversation, Jenny looked Brianna and said to us;

"I don't believe Brianna's autistic, do you want to start now?"

David and I trusted her instantly.

David later told me that when he first picked Jenny up from the airport he trusted her instantly.

Jenny took us through what she was going to do and it just made sense.

It was new, it was very different, it was a bit scary because it was so different, at first David and I thought;

"What have we got ourselves into?"

It was simple and IT MADE SENSE!

So we went with it and I am so glad we did.

I won't go into exactly what it was Jenny did, because you need to talk to Jenny herself for that, but I thank God that David and went with it.

What happened next was amazing.

Immediately Brianna's behaviour changed, for the first few days it seemed as though she was going through some kind of withdrawal process and at times her behaviour was worse.

But then we had day four of Jenny!

I'll remember that day for the rest of my life.

My sister was over and Brianna, out of the blue, in the middle of playing, counted to ten. One to ten and no mistakes!

It may not sound much, but to a little girl who could hardly speak, let alone count, it was sensational to me.

It was a though everything we had tried to teach her, HAD ACTUALLY SUNK IN! But somehow through stress and turmoil in her mind, there hadn't been room for it to come out.

After day 4 things started changing for the better, Brianna started sleeping in her own bed...after 3 YEARS!

Can you imagine what that meant to David and I after having not one night to ourselves for three years?

The relief we felt was instant, wonderful and most importantly, real.

We were hooked on Jenny's approach from then on.

Not only was Brianna going to sleep in her own bed, but she was sleeping from 7:30pm to 7:30am. Wonderful stuff for us all.

The atmosphere of the whole house changed.

Brianna's behaviour improved in all areas, toileting, eating and obedience.

And also after four days with Jenny, it happened!

Brianna looked straight at me, straight into my eyes, for the first time.

Of course, my eyes filled up with tears straight away didn't they.

I couldn't believe it, it was so wonderful. I felt I'd finally got my baby girl back.

That moment alone made it worth all the waiting and effort.

Of course we still have our moments, what parent doesn't? :-)

But to give you an idea, in February this year (2004), Brianna went to kinder with other 4 year olds and I was panic stricken the first few months.

I was just waiting for the phone call from a teacher to complain about a tantrum or something. I knew Brianna was well behaved at home but kinder was another thing. I saw
it as a hurdle.

Well, was I wrong, the only feedback I have got from the teachers is that Brianna is one of the best behaved of the whole group and they wish the other children were more like
her.

No one there knows of our journey with autism, Brianna has the same life and is accepted the same as any other child there.

Now that was something I only dreamed about in early 2003 after she was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Brianna is invited to birthday parties with her friends, has friends stay over and has a normal life.

What has been the difference between now and when I was considering taking not just my life but those of my beautiful children?

Jenny Roberts, that's the only difference, not speech therapy, ABA, counseling or any other traditional method, just Jenny.

Jenny is the miracle I prayed for, and she came.

Anne from Melbourne Victoria, Australia

Hello, I’m Jo and I have a few minutes to talk to you about the Jenny Roberts program.

I’m not going to dress my message up and make it sound pretty. I’m not even going to recommend the Jenny Roberts program as this is up to you to decide after you’ve heard
my simple story.

I have two sons, Tom is seven years old and Harry is five years old. Both have autism. Tom would be considered to be “non-verbal” and Harry has some words but does not
really know what communication is all about yet. On the autism spectrum Tom could be classified as severe and Harry probably sits in the middle somewhere.

We're hoping they’ll both move over to our side as time goes on.

When Tom was first diagnosed I launched into a full scale attack on autism. No one could deny I haven’t tried, just that in hindsight my energies were somewhat misdirected!

We embarked on an applied behaviour analysis program where we had a psychologist and around four therapists come into our home to deliver between 20-30 hours therapy based on a reward system where Tom was given a simple instruction and rewarded for appropriate performance.

Later, after one and a half years of ABA Harry, our other son was diagnosed with autism so I took on the role of ABA therapists.

Looking back I did what I thought to be right at the time but feel that if I had met Jenny sooner I would have been on the right track. In essence the Jenny Roberts program is about calming the children and yourself and from there you can establish a base to move forward. The emphasis with our children has been to get the basics such as eating, sleeping and toilet training right before we can move on.

We have tried ABA programs, early intervention, secretin, lots of lotions and potions but the real assistance has come from Jenny. You may think that the way you are with your children is fine but when someone else is able to look at what you do on a day to day basis and give you some simple insights it is worth gold. There are many suggestions Jenny has made and I and others think – it is so simple, why didn’t we think of it before!

Given the fact that our previous efforts to help the boys had not been successful we were open to what Jenny had to say to us. All I can say is that we are open to change.  We are willing to change the way we do things in order to see the possibilities that can unfold.

At the end of the day we still have two autistic boys, so the program has not acted as a cure but it has helped us all to cope better than before.

Jo